Small Group Psychosis (2010)

Thirteen cheerful pop songs about alienation, lust, insanity and revenge. A Weightless Music production composed, recorded, mixed, produced and mastered by Daphne Lawless using consumer standard hardware and software. Released January 2010 on Random Static Music. Buy it here!

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The words...

ABOMINATION

Two men walking down the street together
The little sun passes away
One has got his hand in the pocket of his lover
The other's got nothing to say
They stop at the corner and wait for the signal
Staring at the signs on the wall
Then out of the alley comes the gang with the pistol
The black shirts out of control

and yet we say
Our love is not yours
Our love is not yours to take

One man talking on the stage to thousands
Shining in the light of the sun
He came on a Harley and left in a limo
Looking after number one
Up go the hands in jubilation
Doesn't get more holy than this -
Casting out the evil which divides the nation
He's talking 'bout when you and me kiss

and yet we say
Our love is not yours
Our love is not yours to take
Our choices, not yours,
Our choices not yours to make
And we're not part of your nation
If our love is your abomination.

It's all about the sacred nuclear family

The profittakers do as they please
The housewife fettered to the stove and pregnant
The working girl down on her knees
They feed on the dirt and the desperation
Looking for a plausible tool
Who bows to the man from the corporation
Working on dividing to rule

unless we say:
Our love is not yours
Our love is not yours to take
Our choices, not yours,
Our choices not yours to make
And we're not part of your nation
If our love is your abomination.

FOR MY SISTER

I don't like what happened to my sister
I would never call it suicide
And I don't like the fact the lips that kissed her
Had hours later stripped her of her pride
I don't like the way they photographed her
I don't like the things they made her say
And I don't like the fat policeman's laughter
Lying through his teeth about that day

Tell me, have I made myself your enemy?
Tell me, are your principles so pure?
Tell me, if you feel you must condemn me,
Would you have acted different? Are you sure?

Oh sister - if I had my way
It wouldn't last another day
Oh sister - and we would bring the curtain down
And we would burn this filthy town
And every flame will bear the name of my sister
And every ember will remember my sister

My sister went and hid her face forever
She walked among the lowest of the dead
My sister was so brave, she was so clever
I had to take to take the weapon in her stead
I took it to the place of hate and torture
I took it where they feel above the law
I took it where they take our sons and daughters
I took their lives to even up the score

They cannot kill the one who lives no longer
And they can make her weaken even less
Their filth and fabrications make her stronger
Their enemy knows more than they can guess

Oh sister - if I had my way
It wouldn't last another day
Oh sister - let's bring this curtain down
Let's burn this filthy town
And every flame will bear the name of my sister
And every ember will remember my sister
And this last act will take me back to my sister.

CROWLEY IN A PREVIOUS LIFE

Sebastian loved Anastasia
He loved her more than words could say
He had the moves that would amaze ya
His piercings were Exhibit A
The stench of incense would surround him
He'd scream at voices in his brain
He stole from everyone around him
And no-one ever dared complain

'cause people said he was
Crowley in a previous life
His smile small and sharp like a ritual knife
His eyes had the sparkle of danger
That Stacey adored
The edge of the sword

He had some women on the quiet
He probably had some boys as well
He never bothered to deny it
To people underneath his spell
But Stacey put up with his strangeness
She felt she saw into his soul
You couldn't expect such a mighty Magus
To keep his penis under control

and people said he was
Crowley in a previous life
His smile small and sharp like a ritual knife
His eyes had the sparkle of danger
That Stacey adored
Her parents abhorred

They met amid the volume and the dry ice
Dancing at the local drill
Sebastian told her that her boots were nice
And asked her to make Love Under Will
An hour later, he was getting sweaty
While Stacey was just getting bored
Then just when he was good and ready
He screamed "COME THROUGH ME MY DEMON LORD!"

He met a woman somewhere in the ether
He summoned her by magic spell
When Stacey asked him "What do you want me for?"
He told her she could go to hell
So she shoved his clothes into a waste disposer
She set his books on fire and hit the switch
And all she left behind her was a note that said
"Meditate your way out of this!"

Crowley in a previous life
His smile small and sharp like a ritual knife
His eyes had the sparkle of danger
But Stacey no more
She's broken the cord

NO CHOICE IN THE MATTER

Just a few miles out, and a few miles deep
In the midnight hour, when the big dogs sleep
You could hear them run, you could hear them crawl
You could hear them crying as they hit the wall

It's the terror of knowing
That our world's going to end
If we cling to our lives
If we lay down our friends

It was cold as night, it was black as pitch
Had to hold on tight when they flicked the switch
We that played to win, we that prayed to lose
We that ran for cover when they lit the fuse

It's the fear of revealing
What he already knows
The secrets your good friends
Were forced to disclose

But there’s no choice in the matter at all, at all
No choice in the matter
And no voice in the chatter at all
Unless it's your own
And we rejoice as we shatter the globe
Which was never our own

It's the terror of knowing
You're the last that remains
Who held on to your mind
While they blew out their brains
It's the terror of living
On the edge of the cliff
Of being the demon
In somebody's myth
It's the terror of knowing
That the world's not your friend
They shatter the hourglass
They shatter the courtyard
They shatter themselves
In the end

But there’s no choice in the matter at all, at all
No choice in the matter
And no voice in the chatter at all
Unless it's your own
And we rejoice as we shatter the globe
Which was never our own
And we rejoice as we shatter

YONDER LIES THE SEA

You made the great migration
And we get your letters here
In our city of the valleys
Where the light shines loud and clear
In the Transtiberian laundromats
And marbled halls of kings
Does the sound of the Aro Valley
Have a truly sacred ring?

I live among my crystal shards
And piles of scribbled lines
Just half a pack of greeting cards
Remain from better times
I curse my vast illfortune
Not to rise and leave the nest -
Be special and be different,
Be just like all the rest.

Dear friend, hello,
Will I miss you when you go?
And will we all sit back and laugh about it
In a little while?
Who are you, and who am I?
And have the answers changed this time?
And if there's nothing left to talk about
Who will know, who will see, when we cry?

I have never known nothing
Like I never went to school
Always nine parts information
And ten parts secret rule
But when the lights died down in Eastbourne
And the moments turned to dust
It was good to share my solitude
With someone I could trust

Dear friend, hello,
Will I miss you when you go?
And will we all sit back and laugh about it
In a little while?
Who are you, and who am I?
And have the answers changed this time?
But if there's nothing left to laugh about
And if there's nothing left to talk about
And if it's all gone dead and petered out
Who will know, who will see, when we cry?

There's sunlight on the harbour
And where are you, dear friend?
How roll the famous rivers
At your world's far end?
But this is only Wellington
And yonder lies the sea -
And if you were a bird, my friend,
Would you fly away home
Fly away home to me?

AWAKENING

Under the cover of Autumn night
You would be keeping me safe and tight
Nothing to choose between wrong and right
Lying there hearing the voices sing
I’d be delaying awakening
Stay with me now, let me see your eyes
If you depart, I may never rise

Midwinter comes, and the rain is cold
Why am I feeling so very old?
Faces rush past me, they haven’t told
Why I allowed you to slip away
What has become of that autumn day
Don’t leave me here in the pouring rain
Come to me now, let me live again

A DEAD THING

Innocence
In a cage
Watch the child
Hands and knees and fists of rage
Justify
Your darkest need
Make me cry
Taste the power that I bleed

a dead thing hiding in the shadow of the closet
a dead thing waiting to be nailed to the wall
a dead thing crying in the shatter of glass
hoping for the darkness
hoping for the dark to fall

I have tried
To understand
What's inside
Wait to speak, don't raise a hand
I hate the thing
That I've become
I try to sing
You raise the silence, strike me dumb

a dead thing trying not to notice
a dead thing waiting to go numb
a dead thing crying where nobody ever hears her
hoping for the morning
hoping for the dawn to come

You're always right
I'm always wrong
Each sleepless night
I am weak and you are strong
I can't pretend
To be a pearl
Don't condescend
Can't you love your little girl?

GIRL WITHOUT A PAST

They never look much closer
They see what they want to see
Nothing's left that might disclose her
In her false transparency
But she always feels uneasy
In the darkness of the soul
Something lies beneath the pleasing
Of the part, but not the whole

As she stands before the mirror
Makes believe the dream can last
She's the woman of the future
She's a girl without a past

She has memories in boxes
Which she stores against the light
But the monsters laugh at locksmiths
And she feels it serves her right
And she knows the change is final
That no traces still remain
But the need for firm denial
Still imposes on her brain

She threw out the old morality
And lied when she was asked
Now she's clinging to her sanity
A girl without a past

If she thought someone would love it
She would gladly turn the page
But she strives to rise above it
It's the spirit of the age
So now she sleeps with random strangers
To improve her mental grip
She is conscious of the dangers
And she never lets it slip

She's the life of all the parties
But she leaves them very fast;
It's a weight upon the heartstrings
Of a girl without a past
Now she stands before the mirror
From the first day to the last
She's the woman of the future
(Just as long as no-one shoots her

And as long as living suits her)
A girl without a past

ARMY OF LIGHT

Oh-oh
Wait for the darkness to come
Wait for the stars to be bright
Deep in our hearts we dreamed of
Being the Army of Light

Oh-oh
Wait for the ships to descend
Wait for the hum of the drive
Deep in our hearts we dreamed of
Being the last to survive

I will learn to be a hero
Learn to live my fondest dream
Gain a meaning and a purpose
As we stride across the scene
In the darkness we ride, in the darkness we ride
For this illusion seems more real
Than anything I've felt before
And I'll keep my sworn commitment
To my comrades in the war -
The Army of Light, the Army of Light.

Oh-oh
Sometimes it's hard to remember
Sometimes the night never ends
Deep in our hearts we dreamed of
Giving our lives for our friends

Oh-oh
Stories that held us together
Faces that made us aspire
Deep in our hearts we dreamed of
Facing ourselves in the fire

(chorus)

And how it hurts to know that we'll never be quite
As brave as we'd like
And how we wished to be in the Army of Light
It didn't seem right
To deny us our place in the story,
The one last chance at the glory
Destroying the lies...
Under cover of darkness, we rise
Under cover of darkness and silence, we rise

For this illusion seems more real
Than anything I've felt before
And I'll keep my sworn commitment
To my comrades in the war -
The Army of Light, the Army of Light.
Under cover of darkness and silence, we ride.

SMALL GROUP PSYCHOSIS

As the slow glass shows us yesterday
What I had said, what I failed to say
I tore it up, threw it all away…

We were a part of a secret conspiracy
On a holy mission with our closest friends
We had the knowledge, the science, the faith in our leadership
Six against the empire, and the world about to end
Real life just gets in the way
The powerless are always more corrupt
Than words can say

We rejoiced in our one way ticket to a better world
We were cold, we were poor, we were dark for the sake of light to come
And they gave me a reason for everything bad that would happen
The tests are always hardest for the chosen one
The powerless are always more corrupt
Than words can say
I want my life, my old reflection back
I want to stay

I never agreed to this
I never believed in this
I have no more need for this
Small group psychosis
I never agreed to this
I never agreed to any of this
I beg and I plead for release from this
Small group psychosis

"We promised hand on heart
To die before we fell to sin
The vicious enemy within
I knew there was something wrong
With every lie they told
But for the greater good I went along
And I was bought and sold and bought and sold…”

Oh my father, my leader, my comrade, my general
I who was closest to you now removed therefrom
How can you call your daughter a backstabber, criminal
I lose my beauty in terror, your warm embrace is gone
The viper’s kiss now rules the day
The powerless are always more corrupt
Than words can say

Oh my brother, my lover, my murderer
Where did you go, why do you smile so hungrily?
I kept my faith in the world that was possible
Yours drowned in the sweet dark poison of our enemy
The powerless can always build themselves
A world of pain
I want my heart, my soul’s redemption back
I still remain

I never agreed to this
I never believed in this
I have no more need for this
Small group psychosis
I never agreed to this
I never agreed to any of this
I beg and I plead for release from this
Small group psychosis

And some there were who begged for murder
While their minds were clean
And some there were who stepped towards me
Out of the machine
And some there were who checked ignition tanks
And blasted into space
And some there were who blamed the acolytes
And bowed before your face
And some there were who swore revenge
For some sweet future day
And some there were who tore the whole thing up
And threw it all away...

EVERYTHING THEY EVER TOLD YOU WAS WRONG

I often said that I'd write for you a love song,
Well, darling, now it seems
I've found the time
While you're away, I'll set my pen to paper
To put the way I feel for you in rhyme.
The whisper and the murmur in the darkness
The taste of sweat upon your skin
The thought of you's enough to make me happy;
And this, according to our enemies, is sin.

The words I need to describe the way you move me,
The way you make me feel helpless, hungry, proud,
The joy of you, the very touch which scares me
Those words would make you blush if said aloud.
These private words I address to you in public
You know the thing that means most to me is song
I know they say our love offends the heavens
But everything they ever told you was wrong.

Everything they ever told you was wrong
You are beautiful, you are magical
And everything they ever told you was wrong

In this world there are preachers of rejection
And their morality justifies a war
I feel your kiss, your smile too sweet to mention
It's isn't hard to say which matters more.
I often dream we can built a brighter future
A new tomorrow where hatred won't belong
I know they say it's just the tale that suits her
But everything they ever told you was wrong.

Everything they ever told you was wrong
You are beautiful, I'm in love with you
And everything they ever told you was wrong